And Then I Cried: A story of transitioning by Katrena Williams

At the beginning of 2020, I saw on Facebook that my friend and former client was exiting the military. I thought Katrena was not at 20 years yet, but wow she is so close. Why is she getting out? So I quickly DM her and 5 minutes later we were on the telephone. Two hours later she had an action plan that would help her transition from the military with considerations for her mindset, many relationships, growth, in addition to her financial standpoint and career.

We both thought it would be Cool to Share her Successful Transition to Civilian Life.

Transition to Civilian Life...30 Days in….LIVING THE DREAM……… The first thing I want to say is I am beyond happy to be retired. At first, I could not wait until I had options. Options about what to wear, how to do my hair, my make-up, my nails and whatever else I wanted to do. I first started out with long nails and then migrated to piercings, I AM LIVING THE DREAM. It wasn’t like this the first week though, not even the first day. The week before retirement, was so eventful. I had to out-process, go to finance, pick up records, make VA appointments, get signatures, you know all of the normal stuff that happens on the day of the life of a military member. This was a little different because it was to be the last Commander's signature, the last appointment at Finance, the last time Out-Processing and suddenly it hit me. This is it- I will never in my life walk this walk again - I was still for a moment and acknowledged the feeling that I was moving on to a new journey with my life. As the journey continued, the night before my big day, I was a grieving and sobbing mess. I can’t say it all came out of nowhere - I could hear the brakes of my life come to a screeching halt. It sounded like the brakes you hear right before an accident, SKKKRReeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, then the big bang. My entire career flashed before my eyes, the highs and the lows and suddenly I was no longer that anymore. Finally, I could focus on the fact that I had no appointments the next day, that I now could be there for my children at the bus stop the next morning or eat lunch with them “for sure” instead of the “maybe” I was so used to saying. Guess what, now I could think about the fact, I could now stay up late with my night owl husband and watch a scary movie. I could now do these things, but I chose NOT TO. I had decided I needed time to be alone in my bed so I could get my thoughts together. Getting my thoughts together actually consisted of me crying and sobbing until my chest ached. I was READY...ABOUT TO LIVE THE DREAM. I had a job lined up, I knew I would receive disability, I knew that my family wouldn’t miss a meal or that we’d not lose our transportation. None of that stopped the overwhelming feelings I was experiencing. The feeling of grief, because a part of me was about to die the next day and never come back. I felt a feeling of sorrow and discontent because there were things I wanted to achieve during my military career that I simply couldn’t regardless of my efforts. I was exploring the feeling of wonder, I wondered if I would be able to cut it in the real world since I was so institutionalized. My mindset wrapped around the feeling of doubt, that all of the plans I was excitedly planning for retirement, if they would actually happen. I felt insignificance now because being in the military made me “special” in my mind, but not being that any more would mean I was regular like everybody else. The feelings were overwhelming, there are so many more that I could share, but I believe this is enough. But, all of this changed that night before my big day because while I was in my room alone, getting my thoughts together (crying and sobbing), my husband crept in. My husband caught me getting my thoughts together, he was completely confused and caught off guard when he saw the look on my face, he knew it was something in my head disturbing me. So with strong arms and a gentle touch, he held me and let me tell him my fears before he asked one simple question…”Do you have to work tomorrow”? I replied a very long pathetic “nooooo”, sniffing and sobbing. He then grabbed the bottom of my face and lifted it up and said, “Well problem solved.” I thought about that for like a second, and then out of nowhere came laughter all the way from the pit of my stomach because that was true. I had nothing to worry about. My husband always knows what to say to clear the forest in my mind even when I don’t want the answer to be simple….it usually is by the time he is finished. In fact, that is something that I hate and love about him…I need complications to breathe. The military taught me that. Since then I have enjoyed the change of pace from EVERYTHING is an EMERGENCY, into show up on time but NOTHING is an EMERGENCY. That has been the hardest thing to get used to. Plus, they love me in my civilian job, they think I am a great addition to their team. Katrena D. Williams

I love how Katrena shared so many elements of transitioning from the military and living life as a civilian. Although she was able to share many transitioning characteristics, there were still many not mentioned. The military impacts so many elements of our lives, we often only address the career perspective. Other elements must be considered as well- Here Katrena discussed how it impact her emotions and mental capacity. There are so many other elements to consider such as family, relationships, and one's mindset. Breakthrough and Discovery Center, LLC offers military transitional coaching to help transitioning soldiers continue to blaze trails and level-up in all aspects of the transitionaly journy- not just career. Contact us and allow us to serve you!